In the United States, anyone who believes they have invented something truly unique is welcome to fill out a patent application to protect it, but it’s often a complicated and laborious process. Here are the steps involved in securing a patent:
- Step 1: First, come up with something really cool, like a cheese grater that works in both directions. Oh shit, don’t steal that one! That’s mine!
- Step 2: Research the marketplace to find out if your idea is original or if some asshole has already stolen it from you
- Step 3: Call dibs
- Step 4: Assess the financial potential of your invention by determining if it can be concisely summed up in a commercial jingle
- Step 5: Before submitting your application, carefully review patent legal documents, occasionally stopping to nod your head as if you understand what they mean
- Step 6: Patent and Trademark Office employees …