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BLUE SPRINGS, MO — A local father determined the time had come to sit his young son down and officially have “The Talk”…about the Star Wars sequel trilogy. The man reportedly knew he couldn’t avoid it any longer once the boy began to talk about how great The Last Jedi was.
“He’s at the age where he needs to know the truth,” Cody Callow said. “I mean, his name is Lucas, after all. He can’t be allowed to go on maturing without knowing how the world really works and why the sequel trilogy really isn’t very good. Letting him enter manhood under the impression The Last Jedi was an acceptable entry into Star Wars canon would be shirking my responsibility as a father.”
Cody said young Lucas Callow was coming dangerously close to feeling the sequel trilogy was the best representation of the Star Wars franchise, a philosophy that could lead him down a dark path in life. “Sure today he ‘harmlessly’ enjoys Riann Johnson’s destruction of Luke Skywalker’s character,” Cody said, “but the next thing you know, he’ll be claiming Rey was actually ‘The Chosen One’ who brought balance to the Force. I can’t, in good conscience, let that happen. He’s my son!”
Later, Lucas was playing with his Rose Tico action figure when his father entered the room to start the difficult but important conversation by saying “Lucas, I am your father…”
At publishing time, the conversation was reported to have gone well, with the young man now fully understanding that the real Star Wars trilogy has been over since 1983.
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